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I finally got out of the hotel for a few hours today. More on that later.

In the meantime, I highly recommend checking out the website for the place where I’ve spent most of my time thus far. (If it loads in Russian for some reason, click on the “ENG” at the top. Unless you know Russian, in which case, Why do you know Russian?) Some of the descriptions of Hotel “Belarus” rival those found on Engrish.com. Some highlights:

  • “It’s location has certain advantage: It’s near bussiness, administrative, trade centre of Minsk, combining with separation from noise of big city.”
  • The latest event, apparently, hosted by the hotel was the “competitions on bench shooting” (“In Minsk will take place competitions on bench shooting”) — on July 18, 2007(!!). Even with a little imagination, I can’t hazard a guess as to what bench shooting is.
  • The pool: “The unique aquapark in city is in our hotel. Having visited it and you and your children receive weight of sensations. You can swim for a while, come in a sauna or have a rest in a jacuzzi. For children the separate pool with small depth is stipulated. For our visitors living in numbers of a business class, we give free-of-charge visiting an exercise room and an aquapark”
  • The sauna: “For amateurs of good rest we give an opportunity to visit ours a sauna of a class “Lux”, executed in classical style”
  • The night club: “In a court yard of hotel the night club ” West World Club ” is located. At your service a casino, a night club, a peep-show.”
  • The travel company(?):  “We – with you all over the world.

    Welcome in Minotel express.:

    We are glad to present you our travel agency Minotel express!. It has been founded, as a part of a network of hotels and restaurants of JSC ” Minotel ” in 2000. We are responsible for service of foreign tourists and tourists from the CIS countries for this reason we can guarantee the best service in the hotels belonging JSC” Minotel “. The personnel Minotel express is the qualified experts in the field of tourism and represents young ambitious enthusiasts who love and know the work. Our overall objective consists in becoming leading travel agency in Belarus.”

And in front of me, next to the lobby, is Kafe “PORNO.” Like the rest of the country, the “R” is backwards. Still, it was funny when a woman dressed as a hooker — maybe she was a hooker — click-clacked out of there around midnight last night. Heh heh — Cafe Porno.

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